Note: This blog post is garnered toward heterosexuals. Homosexuals and trans-gendered people share gender roles much better than heterosexuals and therefore do not have this issue as much. Also, I want to state that this post is only a suggestion, and not a directive telling women how to live their lives.
Watch most Hollywood romantic-comedies, sit-coms on television or Keys to the VIP. You'll notice that in terms of most heterosexual relationships, it is usually the male who initiates the relationship by approaching the woman. Even when you're reading that sentence, you're thinking 'Yeah, so?' This goes to show how ingrained the expectation of males approaching women is in our society. While this is not necessary a bad societal custom, it is certainly an incomplete one.
Western culture is heavily male-oriented. This applies not just in dating, but in the workplace as well. Women unfortunately are not encouraged as often as males to go for what they want; they are 'expected' to be supporters, but never leaders. A culture shift needs to occur for our society to be more equitable for everyone involved. Women have to try so much harder just to receive the same benefits as a male. This culture-shift can start occurring with women taking charge in the dating scene and approaching males first. The dating scene is great practice for the real world in terms of going for the things you want in life.
One thing to realize about a relationship is that it is not a necessity. Some relationships may also hold you back and become a limiting factor to your growth. You already have so many stresses in your life, and life is hard enough as it is. Remember you don't NEED a partner. The only reason why you WANT a partner is because they are only a source of benefit in your life. They make you optimal.
After talking to several women about this, I heard many talk about how they usually aren't in ideal relationships because all their previous partners were the best out of the people who approached them, not necessarily the best out of all possibilities. Compared to men, who can choose to approach any woman they choose, women in Western society are expected to be approached by males and choose from those who do. This does not logically allow for the optimal happiness on the part of the woman because they are limited to the choices that approach them, which does not correlate with the choice that is their most compatible.
There is also less chances of miscommunication and 'head games' if everyone involved in the dating scene was able to freely approach the people they are interested in. The dating culture presently only allows males to state their desires without judgement, while unfairly judging women who do the same thing. Wouldn't dating be so much easier if you could say what you want and approach people until you met someone who matched your desires and vice-versa?
Another reason that girls should approach more is that some great guys happen to be shy. Just like being a shy girl is not a deficit, being a shy male does not mean they lack confidence or that they wouldn't be a great partner. They may be unfamiliar with the whole dating process. Realize that every person is different and that these 'dating customs' cannot account for everyone.
Many males, shy or not, also find a woman who is confident enough to approach a male and state her intentions as very attractive. These double-standards of which gender approaches are ridiculous and only inhibit the happiness of those who may not be accustomed to these societal rules. If you are a male or female and you want to talk to a person you're interested in, feel free to do so! That being said, there are women who do approach, and I would like to say I respect you highly for doing so, especially in a society where it should not be a big deal, but unfortunately is.
And if you do get rejected, know that every person is 'beautiful'. But people just have different preferences on what they find 'attractive'. This does not take anything away from you. So don't get discouraged. This goes for everyone, regardless of gender.
Happy dating!
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